The Expanding Lexicon of Bella Swan
by wistfulthoughts
Summary: Bella and Alice are inspired to improve their vocabulary skills with a Word of the Day challenge to practice for grad school entrance exam and distract them from their failed love lives. B X E, A X J


**The Expanding Lexicon of Bella Swan**

_Bella and Alice are inspired to improve their vocabulary skills with a Word of the Day challenge to practice for grad school entrance exam and distract them from their failed love lives. B X E, A X J _

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_**Byssine**__ – silky soft_

~*~

I unsnapped the clasp and let my lace bra fall to the floor. I reached behind the pillow for my negligee and lifted it over my head, letting the smooth silk drift down. All I needed was to give a slight shimmy and it fluttered over the curve of my hips. Oh yes. This was the silky, soft feeling I had been anticipating all day. It was my favorite negligee; dark blue with an intricately designed series of knots along the neckline. So byssine.

Byssine was today's word. It had been Alice's idea to trade off on a word of the day as GRE test prep. Of course she took the A's being Alice and stuck me with the B's for an entire month. I wasn't enthusiastic at first since I knew she would get great words like asinine and anachronistic. I thought I'd get stuck with stupid ones like butt or booger. However, we decided each of us would get to choose what new word we wanted for the day, not follow any list.

My nipples perked up from the chill in the room as I waited for the heater to kick on. I couldn't resist the byssine glide of silk on my skin, but if I didn't get into bed soon I'd freeze my ass off in my skimpy excuse for pajamas. Shame I didn't have someone else in my bed that could warm me up. It had been awhile since I'd gotten all hot and bothered with another person. For the past few months since I broke up with Jacob, I'd been marginally satisfied with my own fingers, but they don't really compare to being pounded by a firm, thick dick. I was certainly in the mood. Silk on skin always helped get me going, but I was regretting the empty bed. Perhaps it was time to do something about that.

I need to think of one more usage for my word before drifting off to sleep. We didn't have to go through the dictionary in exact alphabetical order or anything, but we committed to somehow incorporate it into the day at least three times to firmly entrench it in our memories. Nothing bad about vocab list building or honing our diction skills, right? Humm, diction… dictation… dick. Why couldn't I have started with D's? What else is silky soft? The stretched skin on the head of an enlarged penis could be byssine. Excellent, that would do. Skin so lickable and silky just begged to be sucked.

Christ, I'm so horny tonight! Must stop thinking about penises. What is the opposite of a penis? Clitoris. This is not helping at all. Must think non sexual. Alice. Roommate Alice thoughts are completely non sexual. Think about Alice and the penises will go away.

This is all Alice's fault anyway. I can still hear her persuasive voice, "It'll be good practice for grad school entrance exams!"

She was right, of course. I've gone over that GRE sheet so many times I can repeat it in my sleep: analytical writing, verbal reasoning and quantitative reasoning. Gack, it's stressful to even think about. Why do I want to get my master's? Ok, that's a stupid question.

With both my parents as university professors, I was infected early on. I've come to terms with the fact that my love of school is an incurable disease. I just like learning. It's fun. I even enjoyed my classes in high school and the specialization that college offered thrilled me. I would practically orgasm with pleasure when picking out my classes for the next semester. I get off on the new areas of study, where there is more to discover or something new to try. I've always lived near colleges and I spent my childhood wandering around the campuses where my parents worked.

I mean, sure, my work sucked the semester I took Watercolor Painting. I never produced recognizable images, but it was still a cool class to take. Even the Astronomy lab I almost failed was really interesting. I just got distracted by the constellations and forgot to hand in my work. I'm not a bad student. I aced all of my History, Literature and Psychology classes. I may be more of a creative, right brain, liberal arts type; but I did ok in the Business 101 class that was taught by the most anal retentive, literal, left brain drone of a professor I've ever come across.

It's never been about grades or GPA or even a finished degree. I double majored and could have had three minors if my scholarship covered another semester. But my acceptance into grad school was not guaranteed and that freaked me out. I wasn't ready to be done with college and wanted to stay in my academic bubble forever. My parents stayed in academia all their lives, why couldn't I? A rough birth into the real world scared the heck out of me and I wanted to postpone that painful labor as long as possible. I was an enthusiastic fan of perpetual gestation in utero university.

~*~

_**Bumptious**__ – offensively conceited _

~*~

"Bellllllaaaaa!" Alice's voice could wake the dead.

Maybe if I stay quiet, she'll think I'm still asleep and leave me alone.

"I know you are awake, Bella! Come on, help me out here. I need to use amorphous again before I go to class because I forgot last time with all the Jasper drama." She began poking my face with her finger.

"Fuck off!" I growled and flopped over onto my stomach.

"Please? Pretty, pretty please?" Alice would not relent. Damn. I didn't really want to get up, but it looked like that was not an option.

"Mmmm… fine. Amorphous? Ghosts appearing in the mist are amorphous."

"Ok. I will be an amorphous spirit of the dead for Halloween next year and wear a diaphanous gown to emphasize my ethereal nature." She smirked.

"Oh, very impressive." I replied in a deadpan voice. "Are you planning on entering professional Scrabble competitions after graduation to pay the rent?"

"I wish!" Alice rolled her eyes and dramatically sighed. "As helpful as you've been, I must now dash off to class." She turned to leave my room but paused at the door and said wistfully, "Do we have to go tonight?"

"Hell yes, we do. I am not letting you wiggle out of this, Alice. I know you and Jasper are all awkward and uncomfortable with each other right now, but suck it up. I need to go out and meet someone new. You can't just leave me in the lurch here. You promised to come with me. Just ignore him and pretend you're all over him. It will drive him crazy."

"I'm not sure I'm that good an actress."

And with that depressing comment, Alice left.

It sucked because I was friends with both of them. Jasper was acting like a complete idiot and he was about to lose the best thing he ever had.

I was completely awake now and had to pee, so got up and started my day. I wouldn't normally be doing anything other than sleeping in and lounging around studying on a Friday morning, but since I was awake I felt motivated to get outside and do something productive. I got smart after freshman year and didn't schedule any 8:00 a.m. classes, but this semester's schedule was blissful on Fridays with classes only on Mon – Thurs.

I decided that my first stop needed to include a hot beverage and a scone. I am not a Starbucks coffee addict like most Americans, but I could live off their tea and assorted pastries quite easily. The closest location that fed the university hordes was across the street from the dorm in the grocery store strip mall. I walked over, enjoying the shield against the bright sun that my dark tinted glasses afforded.

I pulled open the door and about crashed into a guy on his way outside. My face ended up about an inch from his muscular body. Humm, he could be my someone new. All I could see was his neck and the collar of the black t-shirt he was wearing, but he smelled so good. After all the fantasizing from the night before, it was all I could do to stop myself from reaching up, grabbing his head and licking his face. However, an awkward moment later I realized he was waiting for me to move.

"Do you mind?" he said, drawing out the vowel sounds of the last word like I was so far beneath him it was an effort to have to speak to me. He still had his coffee in one hand and the handle of the door I'd just pulled open in the other. Once I looked up at his face, I realized he was not quite as caught up in the moment as I'd been. What an arrogant jerk! Excuse me for wanting to enter through the only door to the building!

He didn't say anything else, but stood there and glared at me which was way worse. My face burned up with embarrassment; say something Bella or at least move out of the way! He looked so pissed off. Did I drool on him? Dear God, please don't let me have actually sniffed his shirt in public!

I managed to mutter, "Sorry," as I moved out of his way. He walked out muttering about idiots who don't look where they are going.

I didn't do anything wrong, but I still felt like such a moron. As I waited in line, I tore over the incident in my mind imagining all possible ways I could have looked like less of a dork. I was finally jolted out of my blushing paralysis when I had to place my order. Rosalie was working and she smiled when she heard my order.

"No foam? You want whole milk? Here, try these butterscotch mini scones; they're the best."

I was glad that things were busy this morning or she would certainly have teased me about being up so early.

I took my breakfast and sat down in a plush green chair to stew. I hate that feeling of self consciousness when the hairs stand up at the back of your neck and it's like you think the world is watching you. I casually glanced about the coffee shop, trying to set aside my paranoia with a dose of reality. No one was watching me. They didn't care that I was mortally embarrassed by the gorgeous guy I'd almost run over on the way in.

However, the gorgeous asshole was still here. Not inside, thank you God, but seated at one of the tables outside. There is no freakin' way I am going to move from my spot until he leaves. I have no desire to cross paths with him again. So much for my someone new.

Why do beautiful people have to be so bitchy? He was so tall and perfect. He could have been kind and joked about me crashing into him, or he could have just been polite and disinterested, anything would have been better. The more I thought about it, the more irritated I was with the guy. Why'd he have to be such a jackass? It's not like I was trying to inconvenience him by entering the building at the same time he was exiting. I have as much right to my morning beverage as he does.

I finished my tea and had played with the crumbs of what was left of my scone until they too were gone but I'd not moved from my chair. He was still there forty minutes later. I was not going to let him ruin my morning, again. So I stayed put. An hour and a half passed and Rosalie came over to see if I wanted another tea. I accepted.

When she brought it over, she said, "So who's the guy?" nodding to front of the store where he sat.

Apparently, I am incapable of having a private moment. Everything that passes through my mind shows up on my face. People love to play poker with me because I always lose big time. I can't act or lie worth shit. So, I knew I had to tell Rosalie why I was hiding inside.

"A jerk I had the misfortune to meet on the way in."

Rosalie flipped her blond curls over her shoulder and said, "Well, Mr. Carmel Macchiato is too fine looking to be sitting all alone in wet pants. You should go talk to him."

"Wait, wet pants? Did he wee himself?" I giggled. That would be karmic justice. "He was so rude and angry when I came in."

"Bella, he spilled half his drink on his leg when you opened the door."

Ohhh.

I could only stare blankly at her as she continued, "I watched the whole thing. And I've been watching you both ever since! You've been staring at each other for the past two hours. Do something about it already!"

I gasped. Literally there were no words in my head.

"Yes, Bella, he's been looking at you too," Rosalie nodded.

"But why?"

"Look. You can sit on your ass and think about it some more, or you can go talk to him and find out. Your choice."

I pondered the options Rosalie had succinctly presented. I felt kind of bad that he spilled his coffee; but I had already apologized even before I realized anything had happened. Heck, I apologized for just being in his way. He was the one who reacted like I ran over his cat. Did I really want to go talk to him? It would give him the chance to apologize to me if he was any sort of decent human being. It's not like I caused him to spill his drink; I just opened the door.

I had my tea and could casually stroll by as I was leaving. That wouldn't look too obvious, right?

Maybe there was something salvageable about this morning after all. Rosalie did say he spent almost two hours staring at me. Perhaps the attraction I felt all snuggled up against his chest had not been one-sided. I took a deep breath, picked up my cup, and walked out the door.

But he was gone.

~*~

_**Bronchoscope**__ – instrument used for examining a windpipe _

~*~

Great fucking start to the morning! On top of everything else that's gone wrong today, I've just pissed off a beautiful girl. Edward, you are a dipshit! Fuck!

I've got caramel and foam dripping down my khaki pants. Looks like I rubbed one out and didn't clean up, and of course there are no napkins on the table out here. Damn it! First the alarm, then the interview, the sexy girl, and now the coffee! Fridays are officially the new Mondays. They suck ass!

Could anything else go wrong today? It was bad enough that my alarm didn't go off this morning. But today of all days was not the day to show up late at the hospital. I still had to get into medical school and missing this interview with my dad's golf buddy did not help. He is a big wig at the hospital, Chief of Cosmetic Surgery in their Breast Implant Department or something.

You'd think I'd care more, but that area of medicine does not appeal to me. I want to help people. You know, people who have actual diseases. This guy was a prissy, holier than thou surgeon and he wouldn't touch anyone without a trust fund or a 100K sugar daddy with a ten foot pole.

I don't care if it sounds gay; I'm more interested in lungs than boobs. I am getting into cardio-pulmonology because I saw how hard it was on my mom when she was in the middle of an asthma attack and couldn't breathe. It scared the shit out of me as a kid. Watching her fingers with their death grip the sides of the chair as she struggled, gasping to breathe made a lasting impression.

I wasn't going into personal details like that with Dr. Silicone, however. Examining lung tissue for diagnosis is not quite as sexy as feeling up 20 year old bimbos. Still, sucking up was a time honored tradition and I had to pay my dues. He had connections and I was willing to exploit them if it helped me get into med school.

Not that his bitch in heels sex-atary was anything but unhelpful. "Oh no Eddie, you missed your appointment and the doctor is a very busy man" she said in her nasally, high pitched voice.

Yeah, right. Saving the sex lives of rich, old men through breast enlargement? He sure did a bang up job on hers. They were just exploding out of her mostly unbuttoned silk shirt as she bent over at the waist to scan his calendar.

"I think I can fit you in next Thursday," she said with her version of a come on, fluttering eyelashes included. Would it be tacky to screw the mistress of the guy you want to write a letter of recommendation? Yeah. Besides, she was too stupid to screw. All boobs, no brain.

After I left the hospital, I thought getting coffee would be a way to relax and start the day over. There was no way I would drink the crap they served in their cafeteria, so I drove over to the nearest Starbucks.

But I must be cursed. I get run into by the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I bitch at her for being in my way. I was pissed with myself about everything today, but how stupid did I have to be to take it out on some random, eminently fuckable stranger. She got right up in my chest too. I had to grip the door handle or I'd have grabbed her long brown hair and yanked her head back to thrust my tongue down her throat.

But there was no way that would have gone over well. It was a wonder she didn't slap me.

May as well just sit here and finish my drink since I've now got nowhere to be. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why can't anything go right today?

What am I going to do when she leaves? Ignore her and try to forget how much of a moron I look? Say hey, sorry I was an ass but I've had a crap day so far and being rude just comes naturally to me. Like that'd work. I've got to think up something better to say. I could at least apologize to her when she leaves.

She never came out.

Believe me, I watched that door. I tried to get a better look inside to see where she was sitting, but didn't want to be too obvious. So I sat there feeling stupid. My leg felt all slimy from the spilled coffee and that was gross. I finally gave up and left.

I thought may as well head back to my apartment. Nothing about this day appears to be redeemable. And since the universe was apparently having a huge laugh at my expense, when I got to my car I found a motherfucking traffic ticket on the windshield for parking in a 30 minute spot for over an hour.

SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!!!

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**~*~**

**Practical Question: Was the pov shift confusing? I can label them if it reads easier, please let me know. **

**What is your favorite B word? Mine happens to be bufoniform, but only because it means 'shaped like a toad' and that is both weird and hilarious!**


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